Type: Funny Quotes
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Messages By: Mel Brooks
Type: Funny Quotes
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Messages By: Mel Brooks
Type: Funny Quotes
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work.
Messages By: Gallagher
Type: Funny Quotes
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Messages By: Rodney Dangerfield
Type: Funny Quotes
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
Messages By: Dave Barry
Type: Funny Quotes
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
Messages By: Dick Cavett
Type: Funny Quotes
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Messages By: Bob Hope
Type: Funny Quotes
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
Messages By: George Burns
Type: Funny Quotes
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Messages By: Gracie Allen
Type: Funny Quotes
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Messages By: Jack Benny
Type: Celebrity
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
Quotations By: Mark Twain
Type: Success
Everybody has a powerful aid to success, riches, achievement: AUTO SUGGESTION.
Quotations By:
Type: Attitude
Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.
Quotations By: Martin Luther King, Jr.
Type: Responsibility
The clock of life is wound but once, and no one has the power, To tell just when its hands will stop, at late or early hour, So do today that noble deed, pursue it with a will, Delay not till tomorrow, your hands may then be still.
Quotations By:
Type: Humor
Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.
Quotations By: Frank Zappa
Type: Self Improvement
It’s nobler to try something and fail than to try nothing and succeed. The result may be the same, but you won’t be. We always grow more through defeats than victories.
Quotations By:
Type: Self Confidence
The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
Quotations By: Abraham Lincoln
Type: Love
In a job, as in love, faults are thick where love is thin.
Quotations By:
Type: Attitude
Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.
Quotations By: George Bernard Shaw
Type: Living
Look to this day; for it is life, the very life of life! In its brief span lie all the opportunities of your existence, the bliss of growth, the glory of action, the splendor of adventure.
Quotations By:
Type: Growth
Want to speed your progress? Cut out all non-essentials. Spend all your time and effort an essentials. Cut all puttering and dawdling.
Quotations By:
Type: Humor
I am no more humble than my talents require.
Quotations By: Oscar Levant
Type: Attitude
Just Do It!
Quotations By: Nike
Type: Attitude
One who condones evil is just as guilty as the one who perpetrates it.
Quotations By: Martin Luther King, Jr.
Type: Attitude
Give to another human being without the expectation of a return.
Quotations By: Bill Bradley