A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Author: Bob Hope
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on
Author: Samuel Goldwyn.
All music if folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song.
Author: Louis Armstrong
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
Author: Oscar Wilde
An amateur is someone who supports himself with outside jobs which enable him to paint. A professional is someone whose wife works to enable him to paint.
Author: Ben Shahn
Anyone who sees and paints a sky green and fields blue ought to be sterilsed.
Author: Adolf Hitler
better pissed off than pissed on
Author: dad
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Author: Terry Pratchett
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Author: Groucho Marx
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Author: John Mendosa
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Author: Johnny Carson
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
Author: George Carlin
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Author: Mark Twain
I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.
Author: Kevin Gildea
I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
Author: Joan Rivers
I hate music, especially when it's played.
Author: Jimmy Durante
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Author: Hunter S. Thompson
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
Author: Groucho Marx
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Author: Henny Youngman
I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn't like it when you join in.
Author: Mick Miller
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
Author: David Letterman
If it sells, it's art.
Author: Frank Lloyd.
Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?
Author: Denis Leary
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Author: Woody Allen
Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea.
Author: John Ciardi
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Author: Woody Allen
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Author: Groucho Marx
No one ever went broke under-estimating the taste of the American public.
Author: Mark Twain
Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.
Author: Arthur James Balfour
Once a make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.
Author: Oscar Levant
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Author: G.W. Hegel
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Author: Mark Twain
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Author: Ed Gardner
People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.
Author: Noel Coward
People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
Author: Anatole France
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Author: Albert Einstein
Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly American ladies, but these seductions usually consisted of stripping them naked in his apartment, frying a couple of eggs, putting them on the woman's shoulders and, without a word, showing them the door.
Author: Luis Bunuel
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.
Author: Daniel J. Boorstin
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Author: Charlie Brown
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
Author: Art Buchwald
Free inspirational quotations in your email every day.
Subscribe and Get FREE "Think And Grow Rich" ebook by Napoleon Hill