A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Author: Mark Twain
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Author: Winston Churchill
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Author: Paul Valery
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Author: Lao-Tzu
Abstract truth has no value unless it incarnates in human beings who represent it, by proving their readiness to die for it.
Author: Mahatma Gandhi
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Author: Cato the Elder
Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.
Author: Oscar Levant
Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
Author: Jesse Jackson
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Author: Irving Kristol
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Author: Henry Louis Mencken
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Author: Rudyard Kipling
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Author: Groucho Marx
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Author: Robin Williams
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Author: Abraham Lincoln
He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hope for the human condition is a fool.
Author: Albert Camus
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
Author: Francois-Auguste Rodin
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Author: Cicero
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Author: Woody Allen
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Author: Joan Rivers
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Author: Mark Twain
I think it would be a good idea.
Author: Mahatma Gandhi
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Author: Thomas Watson
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Author: Mark Twain
I worship the quicksand he walks in.
Author: Art Buchwald
I'd rather die as a man then live as a coward.
Author: Tupac Shakur
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
Author: George Carlin
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Author: Groucho Marx
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Author: Irvin S. Cobb
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Author: Johnny Carson
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Author: Will Rogers
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Author: Seymour Cray
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Author: Fred Allen
In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.
Author: Thich Nhat Hanh
Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Author: Seymoure Cray
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Author: Mark Twain
Love is friendship set on fire.
Author: Jeremy Taylor
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Author: Henny Youngman
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Author: Woody Allen
Never mistake motion for action.
Author: Ernest Hemingway
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
Author: David Letterman
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