If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.
Author: Alan Kay
A frustrated chicken should not vote for Colonel Sanders.
Author: Jessie Jackson
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
Author:
A new point of view is worth 80 IQ points
Author: Alan Kay
A woman's place is in the kitchen, telling her man how she likes her steak.
Author: Bucket
Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
Author:
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Author:
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Author:
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
Author:
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Author:
Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.
Author: unknown
Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
Author:
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Author:
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Author:
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Author: Mark Twain
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.
Author:
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Author:
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Author:
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Author:
Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
Author:
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
Author: Oscar Levant
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
Author: David Letterman
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Author:
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Author:
Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
Author:
Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.
Author: Grenville Kleiser
Great experience are even better when they are share!
Author: Calvin
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Author: Romain Gary
I am no more humble than my talents require.
Author: Oscar Levant
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Author: Groucho Marx
I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
Author: Tommy Cooper
I no longer have the fear of being alone. It's cool to find out that you don't need a boyfriend to be happy.
Author: Drew Barrymore
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Author: Oscar Wilde
I'm always amazed that people will actually choose to sit in front of the television and just be savaged by stuff that belittles their intelligence.
Author: Alice Walker
I'm an experienced woman; I've been around... well, alright, I might not've been around, but I've been... nearby.
Author: Mary Richards
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
Author: Anatole France
If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people
Author: Randy Gilbert
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Author: Mark Twain
Jesus is like Sugar..
Author: Carolyn
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come.
Author: Og Mandino
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