A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.
Author: Art Buchwald
Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
Author: Art Buchwald
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Author: Art Buchwald
I worship the quicksand he walks in.
Author: Art Buchwald
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." President Reagan says, "I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope."
Author: Art Buchwald
People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him.
Author: Art Buchwald
Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
Author: Art Buchwald
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
Author: Art Buchwald
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
Author: Art Buchwald
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
Author: Art Buchwald
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